Forever friends
8 Oct 2007
It is important to support all children, with and without special educational needs, but at the same time, we must let them learn from each other
‘Why wouldn’t they let me play with my friends? Whenever I started to play, my “shadow” would arrive and start to “support” me. She reminded me that I was different just when I was beginning to feel like everyone else.’
This is one of Gina’s memories when recalling her days at nursery. Gina has cerebral palsy and was supported by a personal support assistant throughout her education. It can be tempting for any support assistant to feel that, if they are being paid to support, then they must be there to shadow or hover around the child for the entire session. In reality, we know just how important it is that we also allow opportunities for all children to learn from each other. Support means far more than your physical presence.
The importance of friends
Staff at the High Flyers Early Support Nursery in Stockton-on-Tees were asked to think about how they fostered friendships and child-to-child interactions in their setting as well as in their outreach service to mainstream nurseries. Here are their top tips…
1. Meetings and greetings are important
Welcome the children individually to the room and encourage them to join their friends on the mat. Help the children to greet each other and use this social time to draw the children’s attention to each other, point out similarities and differences and speak as a non-verbal child might do.
2. Know when to ‘stand back’
There are many occasions when you may notice two children playing together happily, sharing the toys or playing creatively in the home corner. Try not to interfere with what is clearly going very well for the children concerned, and give these child-to-child interactions both value and time.
3. Tune in to individual children
You may know that certain children find it difficult to play in a sociable manner, or to sustain an interaction, so you also need to know when not to stand back. For example, you might step in to teach the word ‘gentle’ or to interpret one child’s wishes or needs to another. Therapy should be done inclusively wherever possible. In most cases, you can carry out physiotherapy on the play mat with friends all around. This gives it a much more natural feel and does not single out the child as having to be removed for specialist ‘treatment’. Only if privacy or specialist equipment is needed does withdrawal become appropriate.
4. Friends are children we play with
Research on how young children define their friends suggests that ‘friends’ are seen simply as those children that a child has ‘spent time playing’ with – nothing more complex at this stage. Therefore if you plan opportunities for different combinations of children to play and share adult-led activities together, you can actually breed a sense of ‘friendship’ among the children.
5. Targets for child-to-child interaction should be part of most children’s Individualised Education Plans (IEPs)
You need to recognise the early steps to friendship skills such as a child simply sitting on someone’s knee and watching other children, parallel play, then cooperative play. Pay more attention to and celebrate the first signs of early friendship skills so that these can be built on.
6. Encourage turn-taking games through adult-supported activity
Play early reciprocal games such as rolling a ball between you, blowing bubbles for a child to pop and playing with musical instruments, leaving gaps for the child to respond.
7. Children’s photographs are a powerful way of encouraging friendships
Use individual photo albums to catch the children’s interests in themselves and others and to act as talking points. Mount photographs on a felt board at group time to signal group membership. Photographs can also be used with children who have SEN to offer social choices, for example, ‘Who do you want to play with next?’.
8. Music circle time assists friendships
A regular circle time can be used to reinforce the children’s names, passing and receiving items around the circle, greeting each other and so on. There is a range of friendship and sharing songs to go with this approach in the Music Makers (Qed). Visit www.qed.uk.com
9. A new role for the support assistant – child magnet!
One huge advantage of having a new support assistant in the room is that this person inevitably draws other children who are eager to share their experiences with the new adult. This can develop into interactive experiences as the assistant acts as a bridge between the child and the rest of the group, interpreting the child’s reactions or behaviour and helping the other children feel that they have socially connected with each other.